A selection of cartoons by Chris Slane on issues related to farming - previously published in NZFarmers Weekly magazine.
Cartoon depicts rural businessmen enviously eyeing unlocked down Australia - FOMOO 'OD - fear of missing out on overseas deals - as Australian hospitals overflow with covid cases.
Alt Protein - Alt Route
Cartoon depicts Acme Alt Protein truck is blocked by flock of sheep herded by a farmer who suggests to the driver "try an alt route".
Cartoon depicts a dairy farmer accepting higher income but also higher costs as a line of men labelled 'Fertiliser' 'Transport & 'Labour' take their slice.
Cartoon depicts a white sheep asking a black sheep "Alright Mate?" "yep thanks for asking"
Cartoon depicts a country roadside checkpoint with a sign saying 'Don't leave town until you've seen the country town' as a small town mayor interviewing young motorists "Tena Kotutu is checkpoint is just to check if you wouldn't mind taking a job, a house and living here?"
Cartoon depicts a politician outside a farm holding a sign saying sustainability, and a person in an EU flag suit holding a sign saying, 'what they said'. ( Many farmers think it's just the Govt pushing for reform but we're finding it's our customers who're asking for these changes as well and there's value to be had there. Processors like Silver Fern Farms are bringing in programmes to capitalise on this. )
Shearer develops jeans lined with wool
Cartoon depicts a man in his underpants shearing a sheep. S'hearer develops jeans lined with wool - news' "Now for a fresh pair of pants" says the shearer.
Shot Bro Cow
Cartoon depicts a cow dispensing covid vaccine to rural folk - 'Better Access to vaccine for rural folk - news - "Seems fair" says a farmer rolling up his sleeve.
Cartoon depicts a scene outside a UK pub with an accent brewer crying "Co2 Co2 everywhere C02 nor any drop to drink" refers to a shortage of industrial CO2.
Sheep Farm Auction
Cartoon depicts a roadside auction for a sheep farm 'News- carbon cap rises to $70' "Ok what am I bid for this prime pasture lot? $5 million" says a sheep farmer -"$6 million" saysa forestry owner "baaa!" says a sheep dressed in farmer's clothes.
Cartoon depicts a river with two groups on either side - a river interest group is arguing the science with council science officers 'River users discuss the science of water quality in a constructive manner' while fish laugh on.
Cartoon depicts New Zealanders being herded into lockdown in response to covid outbreak in a manner akin to 'A Dog's Show' television show.
Climate Forecast - Next 10 years
Cartoon depicts a map of New Zealand divided in two halves by a red line West -rain & floods - east - fire & drought.
The Blair Sheep Project
Cartoon depicts a spooky campfire scene in a dark forest at night - 4 sheep sit on logs as one says "Evil trees swallowed up all the pastoral land leaving only the bones of lost sheep"
Cartoon depicts 'Farmers' Day Parade 2030' with carnival floats full of happy farmers and rural people & interest groups celebrating reaching carbon neutrality with signs reading 'We did it' 'Cleaner waterways' 'Low nitrates' 'Greenest farms in the world' 'More customers - more farmers' 'Better Brands - higher payouts' 'World Leaders of regenerative farming' to applause from onlookers.
Cartoon depicts two farmers coughing in the dust by a speeding car driven by Jeremy Clarkson "That’s just Clarkson - he reckons our sheep are treated pretty stink"
Farm Workers Wanted
Cartoon depicts a farmer waiting at an empty airport arrivals terminal holding a sign 'Farm workers wanted - + 2weeks free hotel stay' referring to compulsory quarantine stay.
E-ATV - the next classic kiwi farm vehicle
Cartoon depicts a farm 4 wheel bike powered by batteries - 'EATV - the next classic kiwi farm vehicle' cheaper to run #8 wire adaptable - durable -fixable - safe -quiet - green -low centre of gravity -great torque - tired batteries go to home solar -plant recycling old into new - charge on the farm.
A new ute?
Cartoon depicts an old farm truck with the driver says "Buy a new ute? Nah this one still owes me another 30 years yet."
Cartoon depicts a horse race called 'Greenhouse Gas Reduction Races' with a New Zealand farmer riding a cow labelled 'NZ'saying to his mount "Now's not the time to be a fast follower Minnie" as horses labelled 'UK' and 'USA' threaten to catch up.
Solar Farm Sheep
Cartoon depicts two sheep charging their smart phones from a solar panel array "Thank goodness for this farm - my phone charge was down to 2%"
Cartoon depicts a farmer standing by his help wanted sign watching a line of kids getting on a bus to Auckland.
Dogs On Strike
Cartoon depicts snooty-looking farm dogs ignoring two farmers "The dogs are on strike until their favourite brand is back on the menu" -refers to shortage of one brand of dog food.
Kombucha For Cows
Cartoon depicts a farmer spraying cow pats with kombucha while a cow says "He heard that Kombucha removes toxic bacteria - so no telling where he'll put it next"
Cartoon depicts a teenager dancing for a phone camera "When he said he wanted a career in tech this isn't what I had in mind" says his farmer father to his mother.
Cartoon shows New Zealand's America's Cup yacht catamaran sailing to a win with the head office of Fonterra behind with speech bubbles saying "We did it team - go us! The wind is really behind our backs now" "Turn off the TV Miles"
Cartoon shows below Elon Musk's line of low orbit satellites a muddy 4WD utility vehicle driving up a grass slope "Thanks for the internet Elon but I dunno if your cyber truck will make it this far" says the farmer driver.
A&P Show Cancelled
Cartoon shows two locals stapling a 'cancelled' label over the top of an A&P Show billboard beside a road as a line of cars zoom past- "Better safe than sorry with all these Aucklanders around" - refers to those evading a covid19 lockdown in Auckland.
Cartoon shows Bobba Fett guarding grapes firing off laser pointers with a farmer telling his mate "The neighbour's using lasers to keep birds away but this guy is way cheaper.”
Rabobank Lends A Hand
Cartoon story on Rabobank's new sustainability manager - it appears banks etc are taking an active interest in getting farmers up to speed on enviro regulations as it's good for business. Maybe we could have a bank manager helping plant a wetland? not sure...
Cartoon shows a farmer's safety notice map of hazards on the farm "I made this for your protection"
Blundering in the dark
Cartoon shows Nathan Guy blunders about in the dark refers to the National governments response to an outbreak of Mycoplasma Bovis disease crying "Biosecurity is #1 priority" while a farmer with a torch says "Actually doing something is mine" while others cry "Don't panic" Who's there?"
Cartoon shows NZ Fish and Game head Grubb casting a line hook with a carrot on the hook as an appeal to work with farmers over fresh water quality.
Farming Is Doomed (Not)
Cartoon shows a farmer tearful after reading the Climate Commission recommendations to reduce livestock emissions "That's it - farming is doomed!!" while nearby oil rig worker offshore exclaims "Wha?"
Cartoon shows bees queuing up outside a doctor's house “Is this covid testing?" asks one "Na mate glysophate" replies another
Cartoon shows a young farmer placing political placards for Labour at his gate while an aged man from the National Party asks "So you voted Labour to keep the Greens out?" Reply: "Ah yes right mmm sure I did"
Cartoon News: Limited air freight capacity leads to shortages of parts - a salesman says "There's a few bits borrowed off it but what's left behind is brand new!"
Cartoon shows sheep reading about a shortage of shearers and says "Looks like the 'Shag' is in for summer - "I might try 'dread-dags' this year.
Cartoon showsfarmer serving a large dish of of seaweed saying "One extra healthy sea lettuce salad for Madam?" Cow thinks "This is why I never eat out any more"
NZ Bull in Oz
Cartoon shows a bull with an Australian rugby shirt on with an ozzie farmer noting "Finally we have some of the talent we need to win" story https://farmersweekly.co.nz/section/beef/view/nz-charolais-bull-still-setting-records
Give Peas a Chance
Cartoon shows a hippie protestor reads 'Give Peas a Chance' says "That's all I'm saying bro" caption- 'News - peas have potential to make alternative to meat protein'
Fencing Costs Too Much
Cartoon shows a farmer tuning his back on Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern saying "Sorry Jacinda Fencing just costs too much"
Cartoon shows sheep being shorn very fast by a shearer name Dobbs while a sheep in the pen says "Dobbs spits 'em out faster than the National Party does leaders"