A selection of cartoons by Chris Slane on issues related to farming - previously published in NZFarmers Weekly magazine.
Cartoon shows a private jet flying over a pine forest with the pilot announcing "To your left - the pine forests we planted to help you feel better about yourself"
Cheap as chips
Cartoon shows a scene in the near future....a port worker says "Who knew all those imported cars would be replaced by cheap as chips french fries?"
Cartoon shows farmer pondering a forecast from weather agency NIWA - "Simple then - just plan for floods fire hail drought and typhoons"
Cartoon shows a camper van driven off road into a boggy field by tourists who say “According to our app zis is an autobahn” while a farmer looks on surprised.
Cartoon shows cows stranded on a patch of grass around which all is eroded by storms "Of course you pay for the view" says one.
Cartoon shows cows eating hay and wearing virtual reality headsets "There's nothing like the great outdoors" says one.
Cartoon shows two farmers looking at windy weather "Go on holiday ey? - "Nah find it's better to wait for summer"
Cartoon shows a scientist looking at a second sitting on the floor stoned "I meant find a use fir velvet leaf not that weed"
Trump Farm Subsidies
Cartoon shows a departing Trump tossing a handful of subsidies over his shoulder to US farmers as their trade war crops wither saying "So long and thanks for all the rallies".
Halter Big Brother
Cartoon shows two cows wearing electronic halters surveying a digital fence title: News - electronic collars allow grazing without fences - "Small farmers is now big brother" says one cow to another.
Cartoon shows a farmer reading a newspaper while one cow says "The PM mentioned having a meatless Monday" "Suits me" says a second cow.
Cartoon shows a red cross drone with a stethoscope and a farmer saying "Here's our new doctor now"
Cartoon shows christmas empty stockings labelled 'Shareholders' and one full stocking labelled 'Danone' with a grumpy farmer shareholder.
Murray Ball RIP
Homage to a cartoon by kiwi cartoonist Murray Ball creator of Footrot flats strip shows farmer Wal stretched across a chasm in his land with a dog thinking "Hang on Wal' I'll go get Cooch to come and plant some trees"
Foreign Workers Needed
Cartoon shows farmer at home calling on the phone "Hellow - yes I will need to hire foreign workers again this season" as his children lay around the lounge watching tv or on phones and using laptops.
Forester & Shearer
Cartoon shows a Forester talking to a sheep farmer "And they only need shearing once every 30 years"
Make Hay Fast
Cartoon shows a speeding hay-baler "I see the're making hay while the sun briefly shines"
Irrigation NZ vs Greenpeace
Cartoon title -'Irrigation NZ meeting Greenpeace' "Let's call this a full and frank exchange of views" shows parties slinging mud from a dirty river at each other.
Low THC Hemp
Cartoon shows young people harvesting marijuana hemp "Turns out it wasn't hard getting young people into farming after all"
Jacinda & Bill Shrek
Cartoon shows a bouncy lamb and grumpy old shrek type sheep "I call this Jacinda and that one Bill"
Cartoon shows a bus going to the works with lambs in the passenger seats - "They deserve it lamd prices are atan all time high" says a farmer.
Laser measures urine
Cartoon shwis a scientist poiting a laser "You can use this laser to measure urine patches" - the farmer replies "You taking the piss - I don't even use nicotine patches".
Livestock Excluded From Stream
Cartoon shows a herd of cattle straining to get into a dirty stream past a fence and minimal riparian vegetation while Federated Farmers CEO tells a canoeist "THere you go - livestock excluded".
Mt Albert Grammar Farm
Cartoon shows Mt Albert Grammar Farm Centre with cows joining rugby practice "In the top paddock we're fattening 100 head of third years and on the bottom field we're propecting for the first 15".
Cartoon shows a farmer standing in a puddle next to a flooded crop saying "Shall we try rice next year?"
Cartoon shows Mint Awarded lamb saying to another "I'm off to the Christchurch A&P show this week for a big awards dinner" - "Cool I hear they annoint you with a mint sauce" says another lamb.
Cartoon shows a doctor talking to a tree "I'm afraid to say sir that blight appears to be hereditary"
Rural GP Shortage
Cartoon shows farmer showing his bum to a vet saying "While you're here - could you take a look at this rash?" - headline - News - shortage of rural GPs'
Cartoon says "Genius idea to cut the cost of fuel by capturing greenhouse gases"with a pipe connecting the rocket to a cow shed.
Cartoon shows a giant robot standing above an orchard while a picker man says "The new robo harvester refuses to work here - He claims he's incompataible with apple products".
Shrek 4 The Waiting Game
Cartoon shows movie poster heading 'Shrek 4 The Waiting Game' farmer sitting between two long-haired sheep newspaper heading 'News - wool prices low'
Cartoon shows shrearer frantically busy - farmer says "He's in a race against the wool price"..
Running Of The Wools
Cartoon shows running of the wools as a man says "This isn't quite the test of manhood I was expecting".
Cartoon shows children in a cattle pen while a male farmer thinks - "health and safety - tick'.
Bottled Water Buyer
Cartoon shows a farmer at a supermarket checkout with three tolleys full of water bottles saying "At least I don't have to pay a royalty to water my crops.".
Voting & Complaining
Cartoon shows two farmers leaving a voting booth one is saying "Now we can go back to complaining about the weather".
Kiwi Characters RIP
Cartoon shows two rural characters looking into the sunset with a dog "Alright Wal?" - "No worries Fred" - 'John Clarke 1948-2017' - refers to Fred Dagg character played by John Clarke and the cartoon character Wal created by Murray Webb...Wal,Footrot Flats,Fred Dagg,John Clarke,Murray Webb,comic,cartoons,kiwi,
Field Days Politician
Cartoon shows politician at Field Days standing on a soap box about to be towed away by a tractor.
Milk Substitute Cow
Cartoon shows two cows looking at a robot soy cow and commenting "They can try anything they like but it still 'aint milk".
Smart Farm Cows
Cartoon heading - 'Meanwhile back on the smart farm' shows two cows with satellite collars one is saying "How are our ratings? Hope I don't get voted off". '
Where are the bees?
Cartoon shows two farmer shouting in s trong wind "Where are the bees?' - "Same place as the flowers - somewhere near the Chathams"
Cartoon shows farmers running for dollars blown around by USA windmill" - 'US dollar has huge impact on NZ farmer income'
Red Carpet For Winston
Cartoon shows Winston Peters walking a red carpet from his bus saying "We'll start with more red carpets for me".